If i had sat down to write this two hours ago i would have done it easily. As it happens, i didn't, because i was out. i was just going to turn my laptop off to go to sleep, but then i realised that i hadn't written this yet. So of course i had to write it. But i'm so tired right now that i'm not sure what i have to say. Wait! i just though of something to rant about. And that is this: photographs.
Not the kind of beautiful photos of the world. But the ones where it takes five minutes to get everyone in the right place and get the flash sorted out and to take enough pictures to make sure everyone is looking at the camera and smiling. If photos are used in the right scenario then fine. If everybody wants to be in the photo, fine. But what gets to me the most is family photos. And school photos. Let me explain. My family is not close. We argue with each other constantly, we use silent treatment, and to be honest nobody is happy with each other. [Well, my sister and i get along fine but for the purposes of this i'm not going to take that into account.] Yet my mother likes to think we are. When, in the rare occasion occurs, we do go out together, we all have to smile and be nice and polite and friendly and have pleasant conversation. And here's the thing: my mother loves photos. We have family photos around our house in various places. And they're all posed and we're all smiling. Or 'smiling.' Thing is, i can remember most of the days we took the photos. i remember one day, my mother saying "Tomorrow morning we are going to ______ Park to take some family photos. So can you both please find some nice clothes and we can look like a nice happy family." And the next morning there were many rows but nevertheless we had the photographs taken with our half smiles and nice clothes and looked like a happy family. What annoys me is this: my mother made us take the photos so that she could put them in some photo frames and display them. So that when people visit they will see the photos and think: "ah. What a lovely photo. They look happy and nice together." And my mother could be a woman who got married and had two children and they now have a perfectly normal, pleasant life. Same goes for holiday photos. Everyone needs to be smiling and together and god save your soul if you don't feel like having another fucking photo taken. It's like if she has those photos it will be like we are okay.
Because the camera doesn't lie, right?
This subject came up because tonight we had a group photo for Comps. i managed to get myself out of it because i said i was morally against it and explained why and so i wasn't in it. Everyone had to hairspray their hair back and wear black leotards and ballet tights. It was because they were doing an article about us going to Australia in the local newspaper. And this photo was an accurate representation of us or something. Give me a break. i'm too tired to keep writing.
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